hipster hangover *may contain expenses*

Hello All,


In an attempt to catch up with an elusive old pal I went to what I was expecting to be a fairly pretentious event… an ‘art’ car boot sale… as it turned out it was really good, some nice folk and some nice art… oh and some really nice cocktails. The event was off Brick Lane, it was on a Sunday so on arrival I made the usual complaint that as a ‘local’ Londoner… ‘Brick Lane is bloody horrible on a Sunday’ referring to the volume of people and the fact it is all ‘tourists’ . A former colleague of my elusive old pal misunderstood what I had said and looked me up and down saying that I was a  ‘textbook hipster’ and should fit right in. My elusive old pal sprang to my defence saying that I have been wearing the same clothes for over 10 years… which give or take the colour of my trainers is true. The friend of my elusive old pal then got me to pose for a photograph for her and then went on to tell me about gladiator sandals and the funny way that fashion comes in and goes out like a neon invested tide by a cultural sewerage works*. I took a little umbrage at this whole event as I do not see myself as a hipster but then I saw this…


Image **


It turns out I am a classical hipster… a hipster god of some sort…


In a more predictable but equally ‘seasonal’ harassment on the street… it is coming to the end of ‘Hangover’ season… for the last time (subject to DVD release and terrestrial showings in the future)… I am relived as what starts off as funny and a reminder that I should change my hairstyle and cut off my beard… does get annoying. When doing my charity run there was a lot of folk lining the hilly streets of Burnley (there is not a lot to do there on a Sunday) and as I passed I could hear the whispered words ‘hangover’ and ‘Alan’ as I ran passed by 6k I was totally annoyed at all the good people of Burnley and wished I had worn my Blackburn Rovers shorts and ignited the fierce local rivalry. I get it in pubs, at work and at my kids school… on Saturday I had an ‘attack of the Alans’ on the tube, I was part way through a very pleasant afternoon with my friend Dean, we had been visiting gastro pubs as research for a new job he is starting… a task I gladly agreed to help with… anyway we were heading towards the home straight of this delicious tour when I was accosted by a pretty Essex girl on the train… she too appeared to be part way through some delicious tour of her own as she sided up to me and rather beautifully said “YOU LOOK LIKE ALAN FROM THE HANGOVER CAN I HAVE A PICTURE YOU SHOULD BE A PROFESSIONAL ALAN FROM THE HANGOVER I BET YOU COULD GET LOADS OF WORK IN VEGAS BEING ALAN FROM THE HANGOVER HAS ANYONE TOLD YOU THAT YOU LOOK LIKE ALAN FROM THE HANGOVER I BET THEY HAVE… YOU REALLY LOOK LIKE ALAN FROM THE HANGOVER YOU SHOULD DO IT PROFESSONALLY” I let her have her picture taken with me but charged her a fiver…




Anyway… please can I have your expenses on my desk by the close of play Friday… if you need any help just shout down








*My words not hers, she writes a column for the Telegraph so I thought I better not use her words as they might be expensive.


**  http://todayilearned.co.uk/2013/06/13/classical-sculptures-dressed-as-hipsters-look-contemporary-and-totally-badass/


4 comments on “hipster hangover *may contain expenses*

  1. Rowan Pelling says:

    my lawyers are… laughing. So long as you avoid Shoreditch there should be no problems with you presenting yourself as a fully-rounded (even ground-breaking) individual.

  2. There is something terribly disappointing about only being provoke laughter from the legal system… I must be doing something wrong!

  3. Old hat that… it is all about libelling them on Twitter these days when they have done something terrible… *may contain max clifford*

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